Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize