I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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