He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm just crazy horny about you
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
