I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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