we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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