I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
