So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
