I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize