she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
