If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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