do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
