So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
