i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
As shirtless as possible
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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