no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
