just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize