C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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