i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
