He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
