my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
