you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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