my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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