so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
