So drunk its hurt
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
