If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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