You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
4 words: hood of his car
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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