I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
