I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
third nipple confirmed
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
