So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize