oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
