we're blogging at a bar
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
