the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Panties = found
Randomize
