Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
It's Friday. Sex?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
