I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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