I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
