How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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