sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
