I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
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