Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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