Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize