remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
