So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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