Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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