Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Pappa wants mamma naked
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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