the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
