Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
