Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
where are my eyebrows?
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