But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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