But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
