It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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