I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
