sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Barsexuality is the new black.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
