oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
