Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I won't apologize to a one balled man
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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