Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
