I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
