The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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