What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
