Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Randomize
