on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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