Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
