Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize