Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
