Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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