I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
