not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
