No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize